


Humanity's Ongoing Need To Fuck Up

by Mitchamay25



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is So Done with Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Background Morality | Patton Sanders, Background Thomas Sanders, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Confused Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Being an Idiot, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Is Mean To Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is Extra, Emotional Hurt, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt No Comfort, Other, Panic Attacks, Sad Ending, Virgil wont accept affection even if it kills him, sorry lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:21:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29726157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mitchamay25/pseuds/Mitchamay25
Summary: Virgil is not having a great day, neither is Roman, Logan is tired.Not all things end well, actually most of the time they end poorly.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Kudos: 25





	Humanity's Ongoing Need To Fuck Up

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first published fanfic so I hope you enjoy it!  
> TW:  
> Self Hate  
> Panic Attacks  
> Swearing (I guess, there's only a little?)  
> I don't think there is anything else?  
> Please comment if I goofed something up, or if you like it! Enjoy (:

Virgil hadn’t really known how on edge Roman was. Like he knew the guy hated him, and could he blame him for it?

He just hadn’t known Roman was having a hard time, I mean Virgil had known he wasn't doing good, but when was he ever?

Virgil had just been sitting on the farthest part of the couch from Logan, who had been there reading when he got there. Virgil definitely wasn’t planning on a conversation, he was just going to listen to his music in the commons so he could chill out a bit. Patton was with Thomas, so there wasn’t any talking. Of course that hadn’t been able to last.

Roman had bounced onto the commons, waxing lyrical about some boy they had seen at the grocery store, going on and on.

“He was so beautiful, like he could’ve snapped Thomas in half! But he wouldn’t of course.” Roman had announced. 

This was where Virgil had made the momentous mistake of scoffing at Roman’s tirade.

“What Unbearable Snowman?” Roman had snapped. 

Virgil had immediately regretted inserting himself into the conversation. Roman wasn’t talking to him, he was talking to Logan who:

Wasn’t listening and

Wouldn’t defend him.

He definitely wanted to flee, but he’d never live it down if he did. So Virgil shored up his defenses and hoped to get out unscathed.

“Didn’t say anything Charming.” he hoped that sounded sarcastic.

At this point Logan added, “Correct Anxiety you did not say anything but I believe Roman was referring to your derisive snort.”

“Thank you Point Dexter, although I could have said that.” Roman tacked on; “So, Peter Panic, what’s so funny?”

Virgil hunched in more on the couch, suddenly entirely too grateful for his hoodie. “Oh nothing Princey, I only thought you had better things to do than daydream uselessly about a dude you know Thomas isn’t going to talk to.” he rolled his eyes hoping to end the conversation by putting his earbuds back in.

Before he got the chance Roman dove for his earbuds and snatched them away, “Nope you don’t get to pick a fight then leave. Why do you think Thomas won’t talk to him? Is it because you won’t let him do anything fun?”

Virgil glanced at Logan, who merely raised his eyebrow, Virgil stood up and glared at Roman. “Okay Creativity, fine. I wanted to leave but whatever. One, those aren’t yours and I am sure Morality would love to know why you’re stealing and Two, I didn’t realize the only fun things were things that could hurt Thomas? Hmm? Sure, sure throw a fit because Anxiety won’t let you talk to every random stranger you trip over, but Thomas doesn’t have to risk disaster to enjoy himself.”

Roman laughed full bodied, “Real brave of you Anxiety, hiding behind Patton. Not everything is a disaster Panic at the Everywhere.”

Virgil made a grab for his headphones, already feeling the walls closing in. “Yeah Roman real smart, who said I was brave? Was it you? ‘Cause I know what I am Creativity, do you?”

Roman reeled back, “I-- I know what I am, you said it yourself, Prince Roman Creativity.”

Logan looked between the two of them, feeling like he was missing something. 

Virgil struggled to hyperventilate quietly, “Hey asshole I don’t care about your identity crisis, I just want my earbuds back so you and Tall Dark And Judgemental can get back to your superiority complex.” He had begun tapping his fingers against his knee, that might have been too far. He knew Roman was insecure and unsure of himself, he also knew Logan hadn’t really done anything to him. But his panic had known that too and fight or flight didn’t usually care about feelings.

Roman sputtered a moment too long, still not returning the earbuds, so Logan cut in. “Anxiety I do not understand, why are you upset? Is this not how you and Roman usually interact?” Logan had risen to his feet along with Roman, who had finally found his voice.

“Know It All is right, why are you being more of a jerk than usual Brendon Fury?”

Virgil had begun feeling far more trapped as the conversation continued and breathing wasn’t getting any easier. He huffed, “Yeah, whatever. Is that how it is? Mr Right gets to kick me around for an ego boost but once I reply I’m the asshole? I don’t care, just give me back my stuff so I can leave.”

Roman snapped his mouth shut, then replied, “Why should I? You started it then got pissy when I proved you wrong. Thomas doesn’t get nice things because of you so why should you get nice things?”

It hit Virgil like a train, he was right. Roman hadn’t been doing anything to hurt Thomas and Virgil did get pissy for no real reason.

His panic was no longer hideable at this realization.

Virgil’s breathing became great gasps and sharp inhales and his vision swam.

Logan figured out that Anxiety may have been feeling anxious and cornered when his breathing became audible.

He went to reach out and steady Virgil, maybe tap a rhythm on his shoulder to help control his breathing when Anxiety rocketed back, flipping backwards over the couch.

Virgil didn’t know what was happening, only that they were mad, so, so very mad at him, and that Logan was moving towards him. He reacted without thinking, flinging himself over the couch and landing with a thud against the wall.

Roman and Logan looked at each other, a silent “What the hell?” in their eyes. Roman took a step forward and looked at Virgil over the couch.

“Anxiety? Are you okay?” he asked.

Virgil whimpered and stuffed himself as far into the corner as he could at the sound of his voice.

Roman stared wide eyed before looking at Logan for guidance.

Logan gestured him back, then he crouched and crawled to where he was situated at the end of the couch and he was in line of sight of the panicking side.

Virgil had his back against the wall and his side pressed into the couch. His head was leaning against his knees and he sat in the fetal position.

Roman had moved back towards the stairs to give them plenty of space. He briefly considered getting Patton, after all he would be able to help, but decided it would be better to let Logan help instead.

Virgil had just realized how futile his effort to be a normal being was. This wasn’t the most pressing thing on his mind, he was also thinking about how much he had fucked up everyone's day. 

See, he could multitask.

He eventually focused on soft counting. That didn’t normally happen when he did this, usually he just cried and choked until he passed out. 

And at some point Virgil’s panic subsided enough for him to breathe and think properly, well maybe not think properly but well enough. 

Unfortunately this comes with the newfound awareness that he had just freaked the fuck out in front of Logan and Roman.

“Shit,” was the first thing he said post panic. The second thing he said was an attempt at “Later,” however this was very skillfully prevented by Logan's unbearable need to be listened to.

“Anxiety? Are you okay?” Logan asked, leaning forward a little too close.

“Yup, all good, so I am going to leave.” Virgil managed before he again attempted to sink out.

“Of course not Anxiety!” Roman shouted, rushing towards the both of them. “You’ve just, I don’t know, had something very bad happen to you! We can’t leave you alone.” Roman grabbed Virgil’s arm.

Virgil yanked his arm out of his grip, wishing more than anything that he was strong enough to scare the shit out of them so he could leave. “No Creativity, fuck off.”

Roman shrank back, startled and unable to reconcile the whimpering side with the outraged one in front of him.

Logan cleared his throat, “While I wouldn’t advise touching him immediately, we can not in good conscience leave you to your mind after a panic attack Anxiety.”

“I’m not asking you to leave, I’m asking you to let me leave. Figured you’d be able to tell by my repeated attempt to leave.” Virgil was now distracted from his lingering panic by annoyance.

“Apologies if I had been unclear in my previous statement Anxiety, we do not intend to let you suffer alone after a panic attack.” Logan corrected.

Roman nodded, desperate to somehow fix what he hadn’t known needed fixing.

Virgil laughed, “Okay you don’t ‘intend’ to let me suffer?”

“Yes…?” Roman and Logan said.

Virgil laughed again, “Well, let me ask you this what have you been calling me this entire time?” He leveled them both with a glare and raised his eyebrow, which was only made slightly less imposing with him leaning against the couch.

“Well, we’ve been calling you by your name?” Roman asked, having no idea where this was going.

“No, what is the word you both have used in reference to me for as long as you can remember? This isn’t a trick question Logic, just indulge me?” Virgil voice dripped with venom.

Logan looked at Roman questioningly before replying, “I assume you aren’t referring to Roman’s constant insistence to give you nicknames, so-”

“Insults Logic, not nicknames but you are on the right track.” Virgil cut in with a falsely reassuring smile.

“I assume you mean your title Anxiety.” Logan said, a little frustrated at being interrupted.

Virgil clapped, “Good job you two, finally got there. Yes, you both have been calling me by my title ‘Anxiety’. Do you know what that means?”

Logan and Roman stayed silent, baffled.

“Wow, didn’t think I’d have to spell this out.” Virgil said in a falsely put upon voice. “It means that you don’t know my name, only my title. Which,” he breathed before continuing in a sing-song voice, “means that you don’t get to pretend that we are friends.”

Logan stared at him with wide eyes before looking down, ashamed.

Roman stood silently before replying, “But you, you didn’t ever tell anyone your name! That's not, That’s not our fault!”

Logan finally found his voice and went to respond before Virgil once again cut him off with a cruel smile. “Oh Princey, poor thing is it not your fault? I mean you know Logic and Morality so well, why wouldn’t we all know each other’s name?” Virgil stuffed his hands in his pocket, hiding his shaking fingers. “Tell me Creativity, Logic, why don’t you know my name?”

The creative trait stared at Anxiety, not entirely sure what he was supposed to say and not entirely sure how they got here.

Logan once again went to answer, but Virgil had other plans in mind. “No I want both of you Light Sides to tell me exactly why I wouldn’t tell you my name if my life depended on it.”

Logan flinched and remained silent.

Roman opened his mouth and hesitated, then said “I.. I don’t know why.”

Virgil sneered and gestured at Logan, “Your turn genius, tell pretty boy here why no one knows my name.”

The logical side quietly stated, “We don’t know Anxiety by anything other than his title because we have not treated him with enough kindness that he would be inclined to trust us.”

Once again Virgil clapped in a bitter caricature of praise, “Got it in one Logic. So tell me Creativity, why do either of you have the right to care about me now that you’ve seen something that makes you feel guilty?”

No one replied and Virgil huffed before grabbing his earbuds from where Roman had dropped them. 

“C’ya at the next crisis.” and Virgil left with a salute.


End file.
